Friday, September 19, 2014


 Clinging - Oil on canvas - 24" X 24" 

Continuing on the underwater and the chronic disease themes this image depicts the idea that suffering is a result of clinging to desire, and to let go of desire leads to the end of suffering. Chronic pain from a neuroimmune diseaseas naturally leads to the desire to be pain free, which leads to suffering.
It is only when one stops judging various experiences as good or bad, positive or negative, that the desire for something different will fade away.

In my attempts to stop judging my experiences I try to just acknowledge the presence of the feeling, rather than judge it. It is one of the most difficult tasks for me that come with managing this disease, and when I am successful at accepting that each painful experience is temporary; that nothing is permanent, not even those experiences that are more enjoyable, it is in those moments that I can let go of the desire for an experience to go away.

That is when the suffering subsides.

This original piece is available for purchase at CDA and 50% of proceeds will be donated to an ME/CFS charity.

The Juggler

The Juggler - Mixed media on canvas 15" X 30" $1250

I took an unusual approach on this one.  To start this peice I layed the canvas flat on a table and squirted acrylic paint randomly around. I blew through a straw to direct the streams of paint, and allowed some to drip and pool. Once the canvas was covered I allowed it to dry before applying the remaining layers of oils. The only preconceived notion I had going in was underwater. As the scene developed I realized some underlying meaning was surfacing. 

Having a chronic neuroimmune disease feels like being underwater, even drowning sometimes, but uniquely beautiful at others. The mermaid here presents as both human and fish, like the symptoms of the disesase she is inconsistent. A patient is never certain whether they wll face a very sick day or not, nor whether an activity will be tolerated by the body or if it will lead to relapse. She sits comfortably knowing she has no known enemy, there is no treatment or cure for this disease, and she sits above the octopus clearlyto her advantage.  

The octopus is me, struggling to manage all the symptoms while treading water, but yet facing the disease head on with determination, armed to beat it. 

Peace and hope come in the form of the sea turtle. It brings peace in the times when I am frustrated and grieving the losses this disease forces on me, and hope for future discoveries. 

I hope this information helps you relate more to "The Juggler".